Respect, Reflecting and Reading

Taking Pride in my work …

June was PRIDE month, celebrating diversity and making a stand for humanity, creating space for people of all orientations.

I spent a joyful and sunshiny Saturday at Redruth Pride and Murdoch Day delivering taster massages to many people, some of whom would have felt the impact of being ostracised from communities. When we look through a trauma informed lens, we know that feeling like you matter and belong can mean the difference in how your life pans out. Therapeutic touch is one way we can powerfully communicate this reducing feelings of isolation, abandonment and rejection.

As time goes on, as aging affects us all, more people from the LBGTQ+ community will find themselves living with dementia which can create many complexities in providing inclusive, understanding support. Dáithí covers this in their profoundly moving blog about the deeply wounding effects of exclusion and the joy of acceptance. I dare you not to go goosebumpy … you can read Dáithí’s blog here.

Who’s dementia informed in your area?

If you’re looking for a therapist who connects and improves health and well-being through therapeutic touch, look no further. Everyone on the directory has attended my FHT accredited face to face training.

Face to face training is important to me, because I can monitor attendees’ understanding and competence through out the day to meet required standards before I assess whether they have grasped enough of the concepts and specialist techniques to provide compassionate services for people living with dementia.

If you’re a therapist who wishes to see if your area is covered, or you want to connect with other like minded therapists in your area, check out the different regions on the directory here.

There’s also a section for the advanced practitioners who have completed a higher level of training, a region by region section for those who have grasped the most important aspects of supporting people living with dementia and there is a new Aromatherapy section for qualified aromatherapists who have been on the course to improve health and well-being through safer essential oil use. Go have a peek!

Training from the Heart in the Heat

June saw my first trip ever to Morecambe, where I spent the day at The 4 Elements Training centre to facilitate another joyous albeit almost insufferably hot day with complementary therapists who were keen to support their current clients living with dementia, or open their services to people who are often overlooked, excluded and forgotten, sometimes deemed too challenging to cater for. What commitment!

With the combined expertise of everyone in the room, we explored ways to overcome those challenges, to create connections enabling a sense of felt safety to pave the way to a person feeling happy about the service we are offering them.

I loved this feedback from Anna, which encapsulates everything I wish to convey in my training, “It’s a well researched in depth course taught with so much soft strength and playfulness.”

If you wish your service to include people living with dementia you can book your date here. Hurry though, there are only 2 more dates (plus 1 aromatherapy date) left this year and spaces are limited.  I teach groups of no more than 7 in Cornwall to make sure everyone has quality input during the day. And if you’re thinking ahead and need time to plan your training trip to stunning Cornwall, 2027 dates are already available online.

Respectful practice

If I ever develop dementia I hope you’ll take the time to do the same for me one day.

When I visit you in your home, whether that is your private residence or whether you live in a community residential home, I always treat everyone there with respect. What I mean is, that if I bump into people who live with you, I say hello, I acknowledge them, take time to respond to questions, offer reassurance …. maybe even take a little detour to walk with a person for a while so they can feel comfortable about me being there … because not all language is verbal, much is physical and sensory.

Maybe, I’ll take time to steer the person I’m communcating with towards a place or person where they feel safe, settled and nurtured …. sometimes a comfy chair facing the garden, sometimes towards the lovely carer who they have a special connection with. So if I’m a little diverted, it’s usually for good reason.

You can hear me talking a little more about this in Nicolle’s Reflections.

#massage #dementia #takingtime #community #Respect

What I’ve been reading …

If you are familiar with me, you’ll know I work in a trauma informed way. So in recent months I’ve been reading a lot on trauma, slowly making progress through Judith Herman’s seminal Trauma and Recovery book. I confess it was such a hard read on a number of levels, that I took holidays with lighter fiction along the way to make it more digestible. It was first published in the early 90s, and had some really useful updates at the end reflecting on how her work has held up over the past few decades. Pretty well I think. It highlighted to me the absolute fear a person can feel over and over when they with post traumatic stress and underpinned a great deal about how belonging is vital to help trauma heal.

It helped me reflect on how for a person also living with dementia it can make daily life terrifying especially if those supporting you don’t understand your story, your fear and how you may try to communicate this, but have your distress misinterpreted. How time, creating space, our presence and exercising curiousity are some of the best ways to enable a person feel safe enough to heal on their terms.

I also enjoyed a soporific “ear read” Touching Trauma, Building Resilience by Gerry Pyves which is all about healing the trauma locked in your nervous system. With emerging evidence on the nervous system, I don’t buy into the release theory, our bodies are way too complex for that in my opinion. Nor do I buy into the mammalian/reptile brain theory, but I do feel it serves a purpose to convey complex issues through more simplistic means. I loved Gerry’s anecdotes though and his preference to encourage his clients towards quiet during his massage treatments, as this allows the body to become more aware of itself and regulate more fully, allowing healing to occur. His stories about how traumatic experiences from infancy can be stored in the body—because the brain is still developing and not yet able to form memories—were both fascinating and deeply relatable.

I also loved how he broke down how we regard ourselves and others and how this impacts how we walk in the world, from “I’m not OK, you’re not OK” feeling that everything is wrong with you and others, to “I’m OK, you;’re OK” feeling that all is well and safe. He also simplifies different types of trauma and their presentations which is really useful. I’m glad I bought the written book as well as it is useful to refer to the diagrams, tables and lists which back up his thinking.

Churrah for now …

Well I leave you on a more comfortable note heat wise. Go a little more gently on yourself and others … I have been slowing down my massage and pace during this hot summer (no bad thing) and hope you do too.

Warmest (maybe tepid would be more comfortable 😉) wishes, Nicolle 🧡

“When words escape us, touch says it all.”

#massagefordementia #MeetMeWhereIAm