When Words Escape Us – Newsletter October 2025
Hello! Welcome to “When Words Escape Us” where we explore therapeutic touch and compassionate approaches for people living with dementia and their supporters.
Between busier periods, I’ve been taking time to recharge this summer spending time in stunning Shropshire, watching barn swallows and bats from a hot tub, walking up hills to iron age forts, wandering in woods or getting lost near Lostwithiel.
This newsletter, I’ll be touching on anticipation, advocacy and an award shortlisting. Are you ready? Read on ….
- Tips – navigating advocacy
- Now some really good news! I’m an award finalist!
- FHT conference
- Training feedback and plans
- What I’ve been reading Journal of Dementia care see faves *
- Nicolle’s Reflection
- Pro touch awareness month
Tips – navigating advocacy
Advocating for someone we love and/or support who has compromised capacity can be the hardest thing. Sometimes we may hold a Legal Power of Attorney, be a deputy, next of kin or a person closely involved in a person’s care. This responsibility can become increasingly demanding as a person living with dementia nears the end of their life and we wish to provide them with every comfort we can to ensure the rest of their life is as good as it can be as well as support as good a death as possible.
When we opt or find ourselves in a place of advocacy it can be really hard to know what to do. Sometimes we may feel we need to challenge care/support practice and that can be very tricky to navigate. There is support out there though and if you ever have any safeguarding concerns always contact your local council who will pass you on to the safeguarding team who will help you walk through any sticky parts of your journey.
Here are some tips that may help, firstly:
- Ask for help – find your helpers. People don’t always offer help, but don’t feel afraid to ask. Asking someone if they can do a specific job like help you formulate an email or take a turn to contact professionals on your behalf can really take the pressure off especially when you feel exhausted from what can feel like a constant battle. Sometimes a home cooked meal provided by a friend can be enough to help you catch a breath.
- Contact Adult Social Care (ASC) – it’s always worth registering any concerns with the ASC team. Get to know the social worker or social care practitioner involved in your loved one’s care. Building positive relationships can really help them understand your love’s needs and how to meet them.
- Keep records – you never know when they may come in useful, even if you trust those involved in caring. Keeping a diary of events can really help when things go wrong which they inevitably do in life. However, when those events become a pattern of concern, those records can be helpful in building a case to action your concerns and report to safeguarding if necessary. If an investigation is needed, this will be useful evidence which can help put in place best interest actions.
- Take time out to recharge – fighting battles and chasing up concerns can feel relentless. So, make sure you take time to recharge, top up your energy, and carve out space for joy and creativity. They will be streetlights of hope along the way rather than your road becoming a lonely, dark one.
- Say no – sometimes it’s the best thing we can do when we feel overwhelmed or over committed. This is a good time to refuse those extra commitments to give us space to breathe.
- Exercise healthy boundaries – this is what you may need to do to protect your peace. This can mean refusing to engage with people who add to your anxiety at a time when you may already feel stressed enough. Again, spend your energy and time with your supporters.
Now some really good news! I’m an award finalist!
I’m absolutely thrilled to be shortlisted by one of my professional associations, The Federation of Holistic Therapists (FHT), as one of three finalists in the Innovation Awards in Excellence category. This is for developing my latest course and continuing to pioneer training in the field of dementia and complementary therapy. My latest course “Aromatherapy for Persons Living with Dementia” is designed for qualified Aromatherapists to improve wellbeing and health outcomes for their clients who live with dementia. Therapists who work palliatively have been finding it incredibly valuable.
It’s certainly wonderful to have my work recognised at this level!
This is what the FHT said, “A much needed, dynamic and responsive research and results-based approach to supporting those with dementia, providing therapists with additional skills to build on their existing knowledge to meet the needs of this growing client base.”
Winners will be announced on 3rd November.
FHT conference
On Friday 24th October at 10.30am, I’ll be making a contribution to the FHT’s annual online conference by presenting a webinar, “Top Tips to Build Your Dementia Informed Business.” It designed to enable therapists wishing to connect with clients who live with dementia to offer their services more effectively. Given that 982 000 people live with dementia in the UK (Alzheimer’s Society and Age UK), that’s a lot of people who could potentially benefit from therapeutic touch becoming part of their care plan to connect, improve health and enable abilities such as initiation, mobility and independence. Anyone can sign up. You can do so here:
FHT Annual Training Conference
It’d be lovely to see you there!
Training feedback and plans
I’ve been receiving some terrific feedback from group and 1 to 1 training this year. Some constructive feedback helped me tweak my Aromatherapy lesson plan for the day and resulted on this feedback from Wendy Rowe, a Complementary Therapist working for Cornwall Hospice, “Nicolle offers such interesting, knowledgeable and inspiring courses. Joy to learn from her skills. Wonderfully nourishing day.”
Wendy has taken this newfound knowledge back to share with her hospice team.
So when are the next courses?
Well, I’m off to Bristol in mid-November to provide some bespoke training for the AVON AND WILTSHIRE MENTAL HEALTH PARTNERSHIP NHS TRUST. It’s my first major NHS contract so I’m very excited that the allied health team wish to explore using touch to improve their service and also pass these skills on to their patients’ families to integrate into daily care, smoothing the road a little for all. Ripples …. (((😊))) (((😊))) (((😊)))
Then it’s a hop, skip and jump to London for the last group training of the year. This training day is open to all who wish to use therapeutic touch to improve the lives of people living with dementia.
There’s still time to book here:
15.11.25: Massaging Persons with Dementia, London – Massage for Dementia
And there are a variety of courses planned for Bristol, Cornwall and Morecambe next year:
Courses – Massage for Dementia
If dates and venues don’t suit you, you can arrange for 1 to 1 training in our beautiful therapy centre in the middle of a wooded estate in Cornwall. Drop me an email to arrange a date. I’ve had some lovely recommendations for accommodation locally – they even have goats!
If you’ve attended training before and need a refresher, you can attend the 1 or 2 day group training “Massaging Persons Living with Dementia” at a 20% discount. Just enter M4D20 when you book (not applicable to the aromatherapy course or 1 to 1 training).
What I’ve been reading
I’ve just read this ….
This was a beautifully thoughtful and thought-provoking article from The Journal of Dementia Care, the essence of which can cross over into any part of the care sector. Sometimes we all get stuck into ways we thought were better, I know I do. But with a gentle nudge, as with this one from Professor Graham Stokes, we can reflect and wonder what we can better do to provide comfort and meet the needs better of those we support. Do our clients have the ability to orientate with clues and context, or would gently sensory, calming environments be more appropriate? Even something as simple as the TV is important in creating an atmosphere. Is it helpful, wanted, relevant? Should we tone down and put on something more soothing?
One thing I do agree with is please can we dispense with the “environmental lies”.
With thoughtful décor, and well placed meaningful cues we can create a space that can engage a person when needed and provide sanctuary when we seek solace.
Nicolle’s Reflection
Now that my mood is reflective, I thought I share my latest reflection with you. I talk about creating anticipation. One of my clients from years ago taught me an important lesson. Her cognitive impairment meant she really missed the joy of anticipation. So I agreed with her a routine that would support her anticipation of her massage each month.
Anticipation helps us prepare for what happens next, the joy of looking forward to an event, the thrill of excitement of seeing someone you love, the expectation of safety or the fear that prepares you to go into survival mode. But don’t let me spoil it all, I’m sure your anticipation will mean you’re curious to see my latest short about one of the ways I create space for anticipation …. Nicolle reflects on the importance of supporting anticipation, part of giving context of #safety
It’s Pro touch Awareness Month
This is a campaign run by Lizzie Badger of Face the World eqach October promoting the benefits of positive touch, from hugs to handholds, from massage to a light caress. The theme this year is connection.
There have been wonderful discussions and blogs on the science of connective healing through touch. This week when I visited mum and hugged her goodbye, her joyful laughter left me with a dose of the feel-goods which I’m still riding high on.
We have also been reflecting on touch and connection with our pets and how that can release the feel-good hormones too. What’s the difference for you between a hello hug and a deeply meaningful embrace? Here’s one of the lovely blogs from Lizzie: Connection & Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Why Touch is Essential
That’s all for now my lovelies. I anticipate the next newsletter will be in the new year. Next time you anticipate something, whether that be a celebration, a festival, preparing to do the gardening or hoovering, take a breath, notice how you feel about what is coming next. That’s your biology at work … aren’t our bodies and minds amazing!
Warmest wishes, Nicolle 🧡
“When words escape us, touch says it all.”
#massagefordementia #MeetMeWhereIAm