Touch as a Lifeline

Why Massage Therapy Is Essential for Trans and Nonbinary People Living with Dementia

By Dáithí

In a world where trans and nonbinary (TNB) identities are increasingly under attack—erased in policy, dismissed in medical settings, and debated rather than affirmed—it is vital to recognize the profound impact of compassionate, identity-affirming care. One such essential form of care is touch therapy, particularly massage therapy, which offers an avenue for connection, validation, and well-being for TNB people living with dementia.

For many people, touch is a fundamental human need, but for those of us in the TNB community, it takes on even greater significance. The experience of gender dysphoria, past trauma from medical interactions, and social isolation can make touch feel like a fraught experience rather than a comfort. However, when practiced by skilled bodyworkers like Nicolle Mitchell—who understand both the physiological and emotional dimensions of dementia and the unique needs of TNB individuals—massage therapy becomes a powerful tool for healing.

Dementia complicates our relationship with our own bodies. Cognitive changes may disconnect us from our sense of self, and societal biases often mean that our identities are ignored or denied in care settings. Safe, affirming touch can counteract these erasures by grounding us in our bodies and reinforcing our identities in non-verbal ways.

The Importance of Affirming Touch in Dementia Care

Many people living with dementia experience distress, anxiety, and agitation—particularly those of us who have experienced marginalization throughout our lives. Studies have shown that massage therapy can:

• Reduce stress and anxiety
• Improve sleep quality
• Enhance overall well-being
• Promote bodily autonomy and self-awareness
• Foster emotional connections, even when verbal communication becomes difficult

For TNB individuals, the impact is even more profound. When our bodies have been sites of dysphoria, medical mistreatment or neglect, compassionate touch from someone who sees and respects us as we are can be profoundly affirming. A massage therapist who asks and uses correct pronouns, who understands our unique bodily experiences, and who provides care in a gender-affirming manner offers more than relaxation; they offer dignity.

Combatting Erasure Through Care

Dementia often strips people of autonomy and forces them into care systems that default to cisheteronormative models. Many TNB people with dementia report being misgendered, having their identities ignored in healthcare settings, and feeling invisible in care homes. This compounds the existing vulnerability of living with dementia and leads to unnecessary distress.

Massage therapy, when done with intentionality and respect, serves as an antidote to this erasure. It provides a direct, embodied reminder that we are still here, that we are still whole, and that our identities do not fade even if our memories do. The practice of gentle, affirming touch communicates what words often fail to: that we are valued exactly as we are.

Moving Forward: A Call to Action

If we are to create a world in which all people with dementia—regardless of gender—receive the respect and care they deserve, we must integrate identity-affirming touch therapy into holistic dementia care. This means:

• Training bodyworkers and healthcare providers in trans-inclusive care practices
• Ensuring that massage therapists understand and respect TNB bodies and experiences
• Advocating for policies that protect the dignity of TNB people in all care settings
• Creating spaces where TNB people with dementia feel safe and seen

As we fight against the forces that seek to erase us, we must also embrace the practices that sustain us. Touch therapy, in its simplest form, reaffirms our existence. It tells us: You are real. You are here. You matter.

And in a world that tries to tell us otherwise, that message is revolutionary.

About Dáithí Clayton

Dáithí Clayton, diagnosed with young onset dementia in 2015, is a passionate advocate for housing and healthcare equity, particularly focusing on the needs of trans and nonbinary individuals with dementia. Their lived experience as a nonbinary person with dementia drives their advocacy work, where they emphasize the importance of inclusive research and service delivery for LGBTQI+ older adults across various countries, including the U.S., U.K., Ireland, Spain, and Belgium.

Dáithí has co-produced The Space Between: Understanding the Experience of Nonbinary Persons with Dementia, a qualitative research study that sheds light on the unique challenges faced by nonbinary individuals living with dementia. Collaborating with Phil Harper of Newman University and John Hammond of Brighton/Sussex Medical School, they have shared their findings at numerous international dementia conferences, advocating for greater visibility and inclusion in dementia-related research and services.

Their advocacy work includes contributions to various projects, such as the Opening Doors London Memory Cafe, the Fundación 26 de Diciembre initiative in Madrid, Switchboard’s Speak Out Dementia and the Flemish Dementia Working Group in Belgium. These projects highlight their commitment to raising awareness and promoting the rights and dignity of LGBTQI+ individuals within the dementia community